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This thread discusses the Content article: Too Much Love...

Once we realize that we have given "too much love" how do we correct the behaviours? Are we able to at all?

I absolutely think so. It is a matter of taking control but in dog language not human>

How do we know when it is too much BEFORE any bad behaviour could happen?

Bonnie

I do not agree. Wolfs in the wild rub up against each other to stenghten the bond between them.

I have a shep-X that has to have a paw/tail/butt touching me. I am the one that pushes her away from touching me all the time.

I can not move without her following everywhere I go....and I mean everywhere. I don't allow her on the furniture/bed....but she will lay down as close as she can....... and if any part of my body is within touching range...she does.....she will put her head/paw on me.....to tell me to get up/ or that she has to go out......and "no" I did not touch her to do that......and even when I do get up...she waits ....she knows I will let her out soon......I have a pom that doesn't........but that is a totally different topic all together.

I also wonder about this "too much love" thing. My lab is a momma's boy, and its obviously my fault, but i enjoy a "cuddle"(and i think he does too). He likes pets and affection, and when we stopped talking to him for training, he started barking back at us to talk to him for the first day or so. That has since stopped.
But now i'm wondering if the unconditional love thing will hamper my efforts to alpha-tize myself. I know that dogs don't "think" the same way we do, but i know he's smarter than he looks.
And, let's go a bit further...
What about having your dog on the couch? we don't mind, but... is it okay to have him up there if he gets off when you tell him? and how can i let him sleep in our room WITHOUT getting up on the bed in the middle of the night? is it possible to allow the time spent WITH us but not ON us? are we completely defeating our alpha-role here?
What do you think?

I think you can give lots of love but you should control when and how much. Bayley loves a good chest rub now, and we have our time in the mornings when it's chest rub time. I'll be having my coffee and she'll come sit beside me quietly. If she gets pushy nosing me me and stuff, I tell her no and stop. She's getting better and just sits and waits. Then I tell her enough and she usually just lies down or goes and gets a toy to chew on or goes outside. I'll call her over to me for pets and I admit she comes up on the bed in the morning for a quick snuggle before I get up and let her out. We have no issues over off the bed and she knows the cats rule the bed! She lets the cats have the bed and I reinforce that rule. She's never attempted to get on any other furniture.

LittleJ, if you dont' want your dog on the bed, tie him to the leg of the bed so he has enough leash to get comfortable, but not enough to jump up to the bed. As for the couch, your dog doesn't go on it, period. Sf81202, I hate to tell you this, but it doesn't sound like you are alpha at all with your dog. She follows you around everywhere, and has to have something touching you. She sounds a little possessive. The foot on your foot, head on your leg, leaning against you, are all signs that she wants control, and her need to follow you is her basically her feeling that she needs to protect you all the time. It may seem like affection, but it's more manipulation than anything else. If you have kids, would you let one walk around wrapped around your leg all day? Probably not. Don't get me wrong, affection with your dog is good, too much is bad. It can foster separation anxiety, possessiveness, and other bad behaviours. How do you correct it? Basically just stop doing it. Don't touch your dog for a while, maybe throw in a chest rub as a reward for good behaviour after a while, and just try it out for a couple weeks and see if you notice any changes in your dog's behaviour.

I know it's difficult but I agree with LBrinkworth. I have serious problems with our Sheltie. We adopted him after he had been neglected for the first 2 years of his life. I felt bad for him because of this neglect and let him have everything he didn't have at his previous home. - free range on the couch, bed. Let him snuggle on my lap etc. Well, I essentially have created a monster. I can not take him anywhere that there are other dog or he will go crazy to keep other dogs, bikes and sometimes people away from me. Interestingly enough, I take him to day care - they have no problem, there he plays all day with other dogs of all sizes, they take him for walks with other dogs etc. - no problem. They say he's a perfectly mannered dog...... That's because Im not around. Pickup and drop off has been stressful to say the least. Since watching the program and going to the seminar etc. Im starting to make some headway - but it's a long road to hoe. I just have to be consistent. Anyway, that's just my 2 cents worth The fact that he follows you everywhere could be an indication that there could be trouble ahead.

Ahhhh! Thanks for posting this question! I have several issues with my Golden. She's quite the dominant little personality and does things like bites my shoes when I get home, grabs a toy and leans on me, follows me around etc. I knew I was having issues with her constantly challenging my position of authority and perhaps this is why we struggle. She'll be great for a few days and then suddenly, I'm challenged again.

Good to have a better understanding.

Karen

Interesting.... I never thought of it that way, but Nixon does follow me everywhere, for a nap, for a shower, sometimes to the bathroom too... just thought he likes being around people, just because. I can now see how this can be a problem, he doesn't follow my husband around like he does me either. I didn't think of him being alpha because of it, but he is a momma's boy for sure. Oopsies.
So, just one question for that (Lbrinkworth), less petting and affection, but then with the umbilical is that different because he's following me and paying attention to me on my terms? I'm a bit confused because he'll still be following me around.
We'll start trying that this week.. i think he'll be upset.. it will be harder than not talking to him. But i will do what it takes to try to break this lab.
We don't have kids yet, but i can see how keeping him off the couch would be a good idea in prep for that.
Thanks for the suggestion replies, and from those who can relate.
We're off to class now.