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Help! We have an eleven week old American Cocker Spaniel who, is not only having a hard time with house training but is also favoring myself over my partner. He will always come when I call and is very easy for me to walk but whenever my partner calls him he will just sit there and ignore him. Not only is my partner becoming very frustrated with this, but I feel very guilty. Our puppy shows both of us lots of affection but prefers to only listen to myself....WHAT CAN WE DO???

Puppy Cockers are adorable! People will probably recommend that you read Brad’s book and do lots of umbilical lol.. Which is a great idea - have him do umbilical in the house - wherever your partner goes, the pup goes. This will help establish your partner as Big Boss Alpha in the pup’s eyes. I have something similar in my house - my Lab follows me EVERYWHERE pretty much all the time. Even when she’s asleep, when I leave the room she’ll wake up and follow me. She doesn’t do this with my husband at all. Even though my husband is more commanding and Alpha-ish than I am, she’ll still listen to me more. Ya know why? I do the majority of the feeding and goodie-giving. I also play, cuddle and walk with her the most – she’s my buddy. In other words if your partner doesn’t normally feed your pup and/or engage in alot of discipline, play, walks and affection with him, this could be why. The feeding is a big one, as this quickly establishes respect between owner and pet (i.e., ‘the hand that feeds’, etc.). Have your partner feed your pup at least one meal a day, and have him do the umbilical too and take your pup for walks, and see what happens.

Spaniel puppies are adorable btw!

Good luck!

Even after ALL the time during the last 6 months since taking Brad's course and using his techniques, hubby & I occaisionally STILL experience the "favoritism" from Keymo once in awhile.
Just recently I had an "episode" with Keymo, that yes, hurt my feelings.
Try to get over it.
Sometimes it's hard because we put our feelings before our brains.
Try NOT to take it personal. Hubby & I remind each other of that fact.

Just the other day hubby said "YOU play with him more and I WALK him more. No wonder he's probably started thinking of you as a play buddy and me as the disciplinarian"
So WHAT did we do?
Last week while we were on holidays, Hubby started playing a little more and yes I got to take him out for his "business trip and walk" first thing every morning.

We kind of traded roles. Switched it up a little. Although BOTH of us feed him, but I have to tell hubby what & how much to actually put in his bowl !

Yes, everything LeeLee said about Umbilical, the book - yes - correct - DO IT. BOTH of you !

Puppies will always attach themselves to one person... It is up to your partner to jump in and help out more.. walks feedings and affection.. this is nature taking its course... In my pack only one takes on the puppy duty while the others watch or play with them..but its mama who decides when and where.. they follow her everywhere..and the fathers are abscent.. they couldnt careless.. it sactually quite funny... But everyone is right he has to do more with the pup.. I see it alot going the other way as well so dont feel so bad... Its human nature to be accepted by everyone and being put off by the dog can hurt your feelings.. It isnt intentional its only nature..

We dealt with kind of the same thing with our dog. He listened well to my husband, but with me, he was a terror on walks, jumping and biting my arm, couldn't stand being on leash, throwing tantrums, and the list goes on. So because I was the one having alpha issues with him, I felt like I was doing a lot of work, while my husband got to have fun with him (we both walked with him, played, and trained, but it was more of a chore for me because of the issues we were having). So, I had to do more of the alpha training, and I had to learn to trust my dog a bit more in the house and offleash, and eventually he started seeing me as the alpha in the relationship. Now sometimes he listens more to me, sometimes he listens more to my husband, and we're both equally involved in the training. We both feed him, my husband in the morning and usually me at night. We both try to be on walks with him, but there are nights where one of us is busy so only one of us takes him out. Brad's classes were an eye opener for me in understanding his behaviour more. When he was doing what he was doing, I was SO frustrated, and a little resentful towards my husband because it was so much easier for him. But I also knew that it wasn't his fault, and all I could do is work on it. Yeah there were nights where I was frustrated and just got him to walk Fizz so I could calm myself down, but I would have just made things worse by starting off a walk feeling down and frustrated, because Fizz would have picked up on it. So talk to your partner, explain your feelings about the situation, work hard with your dog, and realize that it's not always going to be perfect. And if both of you are willing to step in when the other is frustrated, then you're all the better off. It is important for both of you to do the alpha exercises, but if one of you is having an especially hard time, you may have to do more than the other for a period of time. Also keep in mind that at 11 weeks, your dog still has a lot of learning to do, but with owners like you, I don't think you have a lot to worry about!

P.S. If you haven't gotten Brad's book, you can download the first 2 chapters off the website, and it's about puppies, so could have some useful info for you!

I have read all the post's on this subject and advice and I am confused. My situation is totally different. I do all the feedings, walks, playtime, goodie-givings, dicipline and affection. My husband works very long hours(I am at home all day with my 2 dogs). When it come's to who the dog's respond to, it's him. They totally ignore me when called, but it only takes my husband one "Come" and they are at his side and sitting next to him. I am very strict and consistant when it come's to staying off the furniture, following me up and down the stairs etc. My husband on the other hand pretty much lets them do what they want. He can walk them off leash, with no fear of them running off, as they stick to him like glue. I'm not saying that I have NO control over them. Sure, they will sit, stay, stop barking when I say "NO NOISE", walk behind me...but I am so frustrated that when they are in the backyard and it is time to come in they totally ignore me until they feel like coming in.

So my question is, Why, if I do all the work, they don't look at me as alpha? Don't get me wrong, I don't and have never blamed my husband for the relationship he has with the dogs. Guess I feel a little cheated, when I've worked so hard with my dog's and my husband gets all the benefits!!!

Pete,

It's possible that you may be giving them mixed messages. What do you mean when you say that your husband lets them do what they want? Does he let them up on the furniture, etc? If so then you guys need to get on the same page. They could be rebelling against you because you're setting the rules, whereas they don't rebel with him because he lets them do what they want (Please correct me if I'm wrong in my assumption, I don't want to falsely accuse him of anything). Sometimes dogs just respond to something in the body language that makes them see your husband as alpha. They know that you are different, so they test their limits. If you guys were both doing the same thing, then there would be less confusion on their part, and less frustration on yours. If you've given them an inch at any point when they test their boundaries, they're going to try again and again, and it's up to you to enforce the rules every single time, otherwise they will do it over and over again.

I am pretty much on my own when it comes to training. My husband supports me when I am around but I know for a fact that when I'm out, he let's them on the furniture. He say's that the dog's are well behaved and doesn't want to change. In fact he his still upset that I am feeding them Raw. I just don't understand how they respond to him as if he has been doing all the training. I can imagine they see him as "FUN" and me as the meanie. When we take the dog's together for a walk or off-leash romp's, they are excellent when it come's to coming when called or they leave-it when told, but only by my husband. I might as well be invisible..... I would have given up by now, because it is very frustrating, but I want so bad to have the relationship with my dog's that my husband has(with no effort!!!).

We are definately sending the dog's mixed messages. I never thought of it that way, before. This is going to be alot more work than I thought. Not giving up, though.

Just wondering, how to become alpha, in their eyes. I do umbilical inside and out, which I must say isn't easy with a 80 lb and a 70 lb lab. and alot of other training methods mentioned by Brad. I really don't know what else to do. I know, you're all going to say, to get my husband on the same page, but easier said than done. Is there anything I can do, myself, to help fix this????

Thing to remember with alpha training, especially when you have stubborn dogs, and in your case 2 of them, is that it takes time. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it can take months and sometimes even more than that for the really stubborn ones. If there are learned behaviours to undo, that makes it harder, and when you're sending mixed messages, even longer. Keep up what you're doing, follow the exercises in Brad's book, and try and talk with your husband about it. Maybe they listen to him now, but don't worry, there will come a time when they don't. Especially at the ages they are. The younger one will be hitting the terrible twos soon enough, so be ready for it. As for your husband, you might want to paint a picture for him. Say he isn't able to walk the dogs, you're out with them, they bolt out into the street after a rabbit, and get hit by a car. Because they don't listen to you, and he's making it extremely difficult to train them properly, it's a very real situation that can happen. Or maybe one day, they barrel down the stairs beside your husband, and he trips and falls, breaking a leg and is out of work for 6 months. Or maybe you have kids in the house, and the dogs are on the couch, kid climbs up on the couch, dog gets possessive of "his" spot and bites the kid. There are so many terrible things that can happen with a dog that isn't trained consistently, and maybe your husband just needs to see why the rules are there in the first place. In fact, if he has questions about any of them, either get him to ask on the forums, or pass the message on to you, as I know there would be many people here willing to explain why they are there.